I got THE call from my doctors office a few days ago that I have been waiting for.
While I was recovering from the molar pregnancy in December, I was told initially that my hcg levels would be tested via blood draw for three weeks, then we would switch to monthly monitoring for six months and then I would be given the clearance to start thinking about conceiving. So, this is what I thought would happen. In late January, I was told we were going to keep with weekly monitoring. I decided not to think too much of it, then I got that call from my highly overscheduled, difficult-to-get-in-touch-with-doctor that she had a "first thing tomorrow morning appointment". This is NOT what I had imagined and the rollercoaster off life left any semblance of a comfort zone on high speed.
Finally, a few days ago, after eight weeks of treatment and two weeks of recovery I was finally told that my next monitoring appointment is next month. I have been getting stuck with needles on a weekly basis since December. This is a week without a doctor appointment. This is a week without a needle.
I am so incredibly, abundantly grateful and relieved.
I am grateful that I went through chemo and still have all my hair.
I am grateful that my yoga practice waited patiently and my body stronger than ever.
I am grateful chemo was only eight weeks.
I am grateful for espresso, gluten free donuts and sourdough.
I am grateful for incredibly supportive family, friends and colleagues. Who know who you are and I couldn't have done this without you.
I am grateful this all happened during the winter time and now it is spring.
I am grateful that I still have my uterus.
I am grateful that diagnosis AND treatment was straight-forward.
I am grateful for every single person who has connected with similar stories, different stories or concern.
I am grateful that my husband thinks I am darling even when I am chemo angry.
I am SO grateful that I am alive.
This time we have together is so precious, and we allow it to be filled with obstacles, distractions and petty things. Let's not do that. Let's love ourselves and each other, shall we?
I have a lot more writing to do about this experience, as there are too few voices bringing awareness to fertility and cancer issues, but right now I am going to walk my dog outside, meditate and get to know the new me.